, ,

The truth about meditating

, ,
The truth about meditating

It was exactly one year ago today I went on a 9-day silent retreat. 

I remember a sinking feeling in my stomach as we approached the monastery.

I felt nervous. But most of all what I remember were thoughts screaming at me: "Why on earth am I going to a monastery to spend nine days in silence with some monks?"

We pulled into the parking lot and my husband offered to carry my bags into the reception area. I told him to leave me there and just go. I wanted my family to depart as quickly as possible, or else I'd be too tempted to jump back in the car and go with them!

I checked in and found my room. The door next to mine led to a chapel and prayer room. There was a crucifix above my bed. Nothing else on the walls. Oh god, what had I let myself in for?.......

, ,

This one thing could change your day

, ,
This one thing could change your day

Curiosity.

It's the gateway to creativity, care, change and possibility and has gently shifted my ability to face adversities in life.

We're all curious by nature, it's innate in us. But many of us lose it over time. It vanishes. Partly because of the way our brains map experience and partly because of our conditioning, culture and education.  

Adopting a mindful attitude of friendly curiosity means......

How to believe in yourself

How to believe in yourself

Wisdom is beautiful.

Much of our wisdom comes from life experience, both good and bad; a process that takes a lot of time and a lot of living. The more curious and open we are to learning from it, the more transformational it can be. 

There's also a wisdom that exists inside ourselves. 

I learned a few years ago, how little I paid attention to my inner wisdom and instinct. How too much of my goal setting was reliant on left brain thinking - thinking that caused me stress and left me with a constantly churning mind, often for days.

Then I discovered something remarkable....

, ,

3 steps to becoming more resilient

, ,
3 steps to becoming more resilient

Many of us don't bounce back after getting knocked down. 

The main consequence of living in a culture that’s so focused on planning, certainty and perfection is that we have no idea what to do when things go wrong.

When the job you thought you would love turns out to be a disaster. When your romantic relationship falls apart. When you realize that everything you’ve worked so hard for doesn’t make you happy. 

We come crashing down. Then what? .......

If tomorrow never comes

If tomorrow never comes

It was surreal sitting in that funeral home.  

Kara died so suddenly and unexpectadly. Almost 2 years ago to the day; it was September 19th, 2013. She was a co-worker and a friend. She was 25 years old. Afterwards, they said it was likely a congenital heart problem, that her family never knew about.

She had her whole life ahead of her.....

Do you have the courage to show up?

Do you have the courage to show up?

You probably have it down to a T.

You arrive to work on time, get your tasks done, maybe you shut down around 5 p.m. and go home.

Mission accomplished.

Do you believe that's your job? To show up on time, take notes with a smile on your face and do the work that's assigned? 

I don't.

Bear with me and I'll explain.....

,

3 things I wish I'd known when starting out in life

,
3 things I wish I'd known when starting out in life

Have you ever considered giving yourself a whack over the head? 

Sometimes that's what it takes to put things in perspective. To see things differently. To change your life for the better.

Some people have an ability to see the writing on the wall. They are blessed with a built-in radar that helps them navigate potential disaster, to avoid hitting......

,

Is flow the secret to happiness?

,
Is flow the secret to happiness?

"THE MORE FLOW WE EXPERIENCE IN DAILY LIFE, THE MORE LIKELY WE ARE TO FEEL HAPPY OVERALL."         

Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a leading authority on positive psychology.

A good friend of mine living in Singapore asked me recently if I'm finding 'a flow' with all I'm learning and doing - as a side note - I recently transitioned from a 19 year career in marketing and branding to move into the business of emotional resilience.

I digress, back to flow.............

I LOVE that she asked that question.

BECAUSE OVER THE PAST MONTH, I FOUND AN UNEXPECTED..........

,

10 startling realizations I had before 40

,
10 startling realizations I had before 40

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to own way fewer things? 

Imagine for a moment what that might mean to you... maybe fewer clothes, fewer games and magazines, fewer devices and chargers, less beauty products, fewer batteries and light bulbs... maybe it would be a smaller home or fewer cars, or maybe no car? I could go on, but you get the point.  

A few years ago, my husband and I came to a startling realization...

An age of distraction: Why you probably won't finish reading this.

An age of distraction: Why you probably won't finish reading this.

In the few minutes it will take to read this post, it's highly likely you will pause to answer a text, check your phone, glance at a status update, or perhaps your mind will wander into things you have to do today.

DID YOU KNOW?

#1 47% of the time, our minds are in a state of 'partial attention'. When this occurs we are not focused on what we are doing and we are less happy.

#2 The average human attention span has fallen from 12 seconds in 2000 to 8 seconds. Meanwhile, goldfish

12 ways to be happy right now

12 ways to be happy right now

It's easy to think of happiness as a goal or something that is dependent on material things. Many of us say, "Once I'm making this or that income, then I'll be happy" or, "Once I'm ten pounds lighter, then I'll be happy", or "When I retire and can do what I want, then I'll be happy." 

While the conditions of our lives may contribute to part of our happiness, I think it's likely that happiness is also highly dependent upon our ability to live in the present moment. About how we relate to ourselves and others. About how we choose to walk through life. 

I'll be the first to admit...

3 powerful ways to quiet your worried mind

3 powerful ways to quiet your worried mind

Constant worrying takes a heavy toll.

It can keep us up at night and make us edgy during the day. We agonize about matters that often never occur. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?

Worrying is a built-in feature of our brain's safety processing. It's part of our fight or flight response system which is never turned off. It puts us into a state of heightened awareness so we're prepared for...

What happens when you hit a fork in the road

What happens when you hit a fork in the road

There are times when we find ourselves at a fork in the road.

Sometimes it's by choice. Sometimes it's not.

You've been travelling down a familiar road for what feels like a long time. There are minor bumps along the way, but little of consequence.  

Suddenly you're caught up in a tornado. You know it's not life threatening but you still take cover and when you eventually open your eyes, you find yourself at a fork in the road. 

Have you been there? At that fork in the road? 

It's a somewhat familiar place for me...

Turning towards stress

Turning towards stress

I was in a conference room with two hundred people.

A microphone was making its way towards me. Each person had to share their greatest fear. We had to be honest and as unscripted as possible. As the microphone came closer I began to feel my heart pounding and my throat began to tighten. It became harder to swallow. I felt heat as my cheeks began to flush. My hands were sweating and my mind went blank.  I'd never felt more self conscious and...

10 ways to listen better

10 ways to listen better

Listening well can be one of the most important skills we have. How well we listen has a profound impact on our life and work and on the quality of our relationships with others.

Here are ten lessons I've learned from mindful listening that have helped me to better understand the difference between only hearing someone rather than deeply listening to them.  

1. CREATE SPACE

Pay attention to the urge to speak or offer input too soon. Hold that feeling in your awareness and continue to listen rather than respond too quickly. 

2. DON'T JUDGE

While judging can be a helpful way to evaluate, maintaining a non-judging, curious attitude can encourage the speaker to relax and be more...

5 tips to quit being overwhelmed

5 tips to quit being overwhelmed

There was a time when I used to ignore my stress.

I'd have conversations about it over a glass of wine with my friends and that's it.  Something to complain and forget about. Not something to do anything about.  

Did you know? Statistics indicate that 60% of corporate workers feel stressed, on edge and overwhelmed trying to balance work and life. Our minds are in a constant state of partial attention and it takes 23 minutes to get back on task after our attention is yanked away. Even being stuck in traffic can now expose you to burnout, especially when...

I don't have time

I don't have time

I think time is an illusion.

The more we fill our lives with time-saving devices the more rushed we are. While the possibilities of information technology are potentially endless, they also put us under more pressure than ever to get more done, in less time. 

At some points we may feel there is never enough time to do what we need to do and time passes too quickly.  At other times...

7 reasons to let down your guard

7 reasons to let down your guard

I didn't know what I was doing there, in that room full of strangers.

Not just strangers, but people who had experienced some of life's greatest challenges. I felt like an outsider, as if I was somehow misplaced among these suffering people. What on earth was I doing there with all of them?  

What I was doing with them, was attending a 12-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and Interpersonal Neurobiology course. 

The truth is, I've led and participated in dozens of executive workshops, but never one in which...

Don't just do something. Sit there.

Don't just do something. Sit there.

Don't just do something. Sit there.

It sounds completely counterintuitive and jarring.

Yet it says a lot in just a few words.

We spend much of our time "doing" things in our day as opposed to "being" in our day.

Being in our day requires some silence and stillness, observing, listening, letting things be. Getting out of our own way. Holding our thoughts, emotions, fears and sensations in our awareness, as opposed to acting on them.  

Let's be clear, I'm not suggesting that we abandon 'doing things'...

Breathe

Breathe

Breathe.

In our breath, lies a completely overlooked source of power that can transform life. Yet we take it for granted much of the time. There are a couple of reasons why.

It's automatic. Like the sun rising and setting every day. It just happens. We don't have to consciously make ourselves breathe. Our body does it for us. 

It's instinctive. From the moment we are born to the moment we die, we breathe. We didn't have to take classes to teach us how to breathe. It's just part of...